Shooting at Autombiles by George Wireman
July 6, 2010
“SHOOTING AT AUTOMOBILES”
Henry Louis Mencken was considered one of the most influential American writers, essayist and social critic during the first half of the 20th century. Born in Baltimore, Md. on September 12, 1880, he went into newspaper work at age 16. At age 25, he found himself as managing editor of the Baltimore Evening Herald. In 1906 he joined the Baltimore Sun and maintained staff relations with the Sun papers for 35 years .Mencken died in Baltimore on January 29, 1956 at age 76.
Growing up in Thurmont, I learned that the Wireman household was never without a copy of the Baltimore Sun because my mother was originally from Baltimore. I enjoyed the sports page and the writings of Mencken. His articles covered virtually every aspect of American life and provided interesting reading. One that caught my eye was Mencken’s story about a frightful dragon seen in and around Thurmont which included Graceham and Catoctin Furnace areas as well. Here is the story in Mencken’s own words. Enjoy it.
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“Not since the days of the Jabberwock and the annihilation of the Whangdoodle had there been such a commotion or state of dread and horror in a community as that which existed among some of the summer boarders of the Blue Ridge during the last few weeks.
Vague rumors, shrouded reports and very weird tales brought to the settlement by the mountaineers from the surrounding wilderness caused such excitement. All of these rumors, reports and tales were based upon the sudden appearance of a mysterious monster which roamed the countryside after dark which startled the native mountaineers first, and then the summer boarder contingency.
It was always one of the native mountaineers who encountered the strange creature, and it was always described as being of monster size, with flaming nostrils and blazing eyes. A dozen different persons saw it at as many different and widely separated places, and this was taken as evidence that, despite its monstrous preparations, the creature moved with lightning rapidity.
Some declared it must be a species of prehistoric bear, with which the mountains once abounded. Others were firm in their conviction that it was a dragon from the fact that several times it set the forest afire in its course. Still others held that it was an emissary delegated by the Old Boy himself, to accompany and watch over certain of his subjects in these parts.
Down around the neighborhood of Catoctin Furnace is where the monster was first seen. But it is not unusual for the natives of the Catoctin Mountains to see strange things and therefore no unusual anxiety was aroused. Next, however, came the report from ancient Graceham, where the residents have done nothing but die since the pious Moravians settled there somewhere along the middle of the eighteenth century.
For probably the first time in nearly two centuries Graceham sat up and gave evidence of having a pulse. At any rate, something throbbed. One dark and dismal night the monster passed right straight through the Main (and only) street. Some said it came like a blast from the mountain. Except for its terrific breathing (or was it the flapping of wings?) it made not a sound though it moved close to, if not on the ground. It had two great brilliant, flaring eyes and left behind it a cloud of choking sulphurous dust.
What staid old Graceham saw must be believed, and next came the reports from Slabtown, a little hamlet near Sabillasville. This time it was on a bright moon-light. One of the most prominent mountaineers of that section, a Mr. Hutzelmeyer, was aroused from his slumbers by a terrific hissing sound, followed by a shriek that almost froze his blood. So he said.
After his temperature began to rise again, Mr. Hutzelmeyer arose from his couch and holding his breath, he strained his sense of hearing to its capacity. This was not discredited by reliable persons who heard him say so himself.
According to Mr. Hutzelmeyer’s own voluntary statement as he repeated it nightly for three weeks at a little cross-roads store. He aroused other members of his family and they agreed with him that some creature, human or otherwise, was moaning and groaning “up the road a piece.”
Armed to their full strength, Mr. Hutzelmeyer, supported by three members of his family able to bear arms and Mrs. Hutzelmeyer with the most recent Hutzemeyer in her arms, set out to investigate. They were rewarded for their investigation by finding a man lying in the road.
Although fair Luna was shedding her rays in all her glory ,full as she was, this was not a case of ‘moonshine”. The man lying in the road was hurt, and badly hurt at that. Blood flowed from cuts and gashes on his head and face. He was bruised and battered all over, as if the ferocious mountain monster had tried to tear his clothes off, the better to feast on his flesh.”
In Part 1 of this story the frightful dragon roaming the countryside was sighted in the quiet little town of Graceham, just a stone’s throw East of Thurmont. Then came reports from Slabtown, not far from Sabillasville, when a very prominent mountaineer by the name of Hutzelmeyer, was aroused from his slumbers by a terrific hissing sound, followed by a loud shriek.
“The brave Hutzelmeyers decided to investigate. Just a short distance from their house, they found a man lying in the roadway. He was badly bruised and battered. Blood flowed from cuts and gashes on his face and head. There was no mistake about it, he must have encountered that ferocious mountain monster that had been reported being seen in Catoctin, Graceham and Sabillasville areas.
When the Hutzelmeyers reported about finding a body in the roadway, all of the residents of Slabtown turned out to investigate and inspect the scene of the mysterious attack.
It took several days of nursing before the Hutzelmeyers learned what happened to the man they found laying in the road. Reports were that the man was on his way to Jimtown, when suddenly a huge, dark animal with immense flaring eyes, snorting and spitting out flames of fire, sprang upon him just as he came to a bend in the road. He was helpless. He could do nothing but utter one blood-curdling shriek as he was borne to the ground. It was that shriek that had aroused the Hutzelmeyers from their slumbers. The man told of seeing the nameless monster hover over him just before he lost consciousness.
The only thing that was discovered during the Hutzelmeyer’s investigation was a thin narrow trail, but that was for a short distance only. Some thought it was due to the dragon having permitted his spiked tail to drag on the ground while swooping down upon his intended victim.
Nor was this the last of the awe-inspiring thing. Reports came from isolated places all the way from Emmitsburg to Pen Mar Park and all around for twenty some miles.. The Mountaineers told of how, being out late at night, they were frightened motionless by a huge monster rushing by them in the dark. They could catch the extraordinary brilliancy of its eyes and hear the swish of its wings, The Slabtown case was the only one where the creature showed any disposition to attack.
With terror spreading, the men were beginning to fear leaving their homes at night. Two farmer boys, out later than usual, reported having seen the thing where the first report of its existence originated. They were not far from Catoctin Furnace when they encountered the creature in the middle of the road, going faster than the Pen Mar Express. They were so frightened that they said they could only see two great big eyes and smoke and fire coming from its mouth and nostrils and a big black body as it shot by them.
Strange as it may seem, no one had ever reported seeing the thing in daylight, so they asumed it was a night prowler. A big posse was oprganized which explored all the mountain fastness in an effort to locate the beast’s lair.
Dogs of all descriptions accompanied the searchers.. The dogs ran down all manner of trails and were sent into every cave, hole, crack and crevice of the mountains, while the men beat through the brush and climbed almost inaccessible boulders, only to waste a week in a fruitless search.
Finally a council of war was held and it was decided that the men would take turns in patrolling the roads near their homes at night. But where to watch was the next problem, as the thing had been seen at points fully 20 miles apart within just a few hours. It was agreed then that men wouls be designated to watch some special night near wherever they happened to live.
It fell to the destiny of Jago Kniffle and Alphaeus Shingledecker to end the fright of the mountaineers, which seemed to be spreading to the surrounding settlements.. They were keeping their vigil beside a huge boulder near the road from Mudville to Hoggs Mill, when they were set to trembling by the sound of the monster so often described to them. First they heard the swish of the monster’s wings, and then the two huge eyes glared directly in their faces as the creature rushed around the bend in the road.
With shrieks of terror Jago and Alphaeus dropped their guns and sprang to their feet in a mad effort to escape before the monster should be down upon them. As the guns dropped to the ground from the nerveless hands, one of them was accidentally discharged and a short, snappy snort followed from the monster as it came to an unexpected stop.
Frightened as they were, Jago and his fellow hero noticed the creature’s evident injury after the discharge of the gun and finally mustered sufficient courage to creep cautiously back to the boulder. From behind its protecting shelter they heard voices and then they distinguished words never uttered in polite society. Still cautious, they carefully peeped around the boulder and beheld two men,
simultaineously swearing and mending a tire on a big automobile which had been punctured by the accidental discharge of the watcher’s gun.
Jago and Alphaeus lintened and decided not to announce their presence, but they watched until the strangers remounted their car and drove away. When the next day dawned Jago and Alphaeus proclaimed in stentorian tones that they stood their ground right in the middle of the road and when the monster approached they coolly and deliberately fired their shotguns into the monster and brought its mad flight to a stop.
There was some talk among the summer boarders of bringing action against two native mountaineers for shooting at automobiles, but with time everything quieted down and life in the area returned to its usual quiet routine”.
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Special Note: Henry Louis Mencken, American editor and critic, was born in Baltimore, Maryland September 12, 1880. At age 16 Henry went into the newspaper business. At age 25 he became managing editor of the Baltimore Evening Herald. In 1906, Mencken joined the Baltimore Sun and maintained staff relations with the Sun papers for 35 years Mencken died in Baltimore on January 29, 1956 at age 76.
GEORGE W. WIREMAN
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